Brother Confesses All
by habbo
Summary: It started with the disturbing scene with Brother, then it became a battle to get rid of rage and anger. Used to be a one shot, now a series of one shots. Don't remember DOFF is in it. A funny story, what happens when Brother is left alone with clothes.
1. I'm Confessing My Love

Me and sister wrote this, and it was fun to write, so I hope you enjoy it. It is a one shot so there wont be anymore because I'm busy with my other fanfiction, this is something I decided to do because it is different.

My sister wrote the character Doff parts, and yes she hates ffx-2 so on with the story enjoy!

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I stand in a small room with a desk and a guy who is covered in a black cloak from head to toe, who is sitting in one of those I'm the all mighty boss chairs. He spins around in his chair facing me as I walk up to the desk. Oh yeah and also I'm in a black cloak so you can't see me.

"You know why you are here?" questions, well lets call him the big cloak guy, otherwise known as Bob.

"Well… actually no" I said. Bob slaps his head.

"Well you are here because we have heard of your talents" said Bob.

"Okay what is this about?" I asked.

"We are" begins Bob, he presses a red button on his desk but nothing happens.

"Right" I said as I begin to walk out the doors.

"We are the people of Square soft" said Bob.

"I thought you were called Square Enix" I said as I turn around. "And anyway I thought it was some Japanese guy in charge". I said. Bob looks nervous, but I know that there is something going on.

"Okay we are not them, but we stole their script, now do you want to direct this scene or not" said Bob. Okay so this was creepy, but I'm Habbo, I mean who wouldn't jump at the chance to direct something like this.

"Okay" I agreed.

Now lets skip all the boring parts and jump to the scene. I mean we all know what happens, Yuna is goody miss two shoes, Rikku is someone who you can't get away from, she's like a parasite seriously, and Paine has got this don't mess with me look, although maybe I can change that.

It turns out that I got the worst scene ever created, I'm really thinking that Square Enix have gone mad, I think they have got their drinks spiked or something like that.

Anyway now I'm on the upper level of the Cabin with Yuna and Brother is down with Barkeep.

"Okay and action!" I exclaim, Yuna walks to the railing, when Brother speaks.

"Oh I love Yuna, she's got a nice backside" sings Brother.

"Cut what was that!" I exclaim.

"Ha I have read the script, she gets with blondie, if I sing she will come to me" said Brother.

"Okay" I say slowly. I start writing and scribbling on the script. I smile to myself before handing to the crew off the set.

"Okay Brother you can sing" I say smiling to myself. Yuna looks really embarrassed. But yeah the script is fucked up anyway so...

As Brother sings Tidus charges in and starts pounding Brother, lots of school boys and girls come in and chant Fight. Don't ask me where they came from.

Yuna runs down the steps and pulls Tidus away from Brother and starts to make out with him. Rikku then comes into the room and sees the crowd.

"Hey is this a party!" exclaims Rikku as she jumps up and down.

"Nope" I said as I walk down the steps. "There was a fight" I said as me and Rikku look over to Brother to see him bruised and gasping for breath on the stall.

"This was my scene" complains Brother. Everyone ignores him as the school children leave because someone said about those Pokemon things. Mean while Yuna and Tidus are still making out.

Okay after a month of waiting for them to stop, yeah I know me and Rikku fell asleep, but I mean they've only been separated for two years.

They finally break apart.

"I never knew Yuna could get that horny" I said as I wake up because Rikku was poking me.

"Yeah horny Yunie! Horny Yunie!" exclaims Rikku as she dances around.

"Right anyway action!" I exclaim. Sex on the beach plays in the background.

"I want to have sex on the beach, horny Yunie" sings Rikku, Rikku sings with a high pitched voice adding in horny Yunie every so often. But the couple ignore her.

"Where did you go?" asks Yuna. Tidus is handed a piece of paper from a random guy.

"When I dissappeared, I reappeared in the ocean" said Tidus reading the paper. He is handed another one. "Then I got knocked over by a bus, knocking me out cold for two years" said Tidus.

"Psst it's Shoopuff not a bus, sorry that came from another movie" said the random guy.

"Or was it a Shoopuff" said Tidus mysteriously.

"I want to have sex on the beach with Horny Yunie" sings Rikku.

"Okay who spiked Rikku's drink?" asks Habbo. Habbo's sister comes in smiling evilly, she is also in a black cloak. I knew that this would be the end, my sister hates final fantasy, so lets call her D.O.F.F. Meaning Destroyer of final fantasy.

"No I think Rikku is totally sober and she really does wanna have sex on the beach with Yuna" says Doff with a sly smile. "And what sort of fucked up name is Doff!".

"Well you would say that wouldn't you, but the evidence is against you Rikku is holding an empty bottle, anyway what's wrong with DOFF?" asks Habbo as she snatches the bottle from Rikku.

"Hey! Horney Yunie help me, she took my bottle!" exclaims Rikku.

"Right I've had enough of this" says Doff as she pulls out an impressive gun and points it at all the cast "We are gonna do things my way" and as she says that an army of people walk up behind Doff, ready for Doff's commandments.

"Hey did you guys know you've got the wrong show this is Final Fantasy X-2 not the Matrix" says Habbo.

"Oh this isn't a show Habbo. Right, Yuna in this scene you're gonna kill Tidus. Rikku you're gonna smack Habbo and if you don't do that……KA-BOOM!" laughs Doff, while this was going on Rikku and the other Al behd on the ship were toying with everyone's weapons, making sure that they didn't have any ammo or any power. I on the other hand made sure that Paine had entered the scene.

"It's hurt time" said Paine as she began chopping down the army who were defenseless.

"Where's your army now?" I ask.

Paine goes to whack Doff but Doff stops her and throws her to the floor. "Oh Shit I better be off I gotta kill the teletubbies by 3 o'clock. Oh by the way.. Don't forget to read your mail" And with that Doff leaves and makes sure to step on Paine while she leaves.

"I got mail!" exclaims Brother. Rikku starts dancing again.

"I want sex on the beach, horny Yunie" sings Rikku. Paine heals herself using a potion and whacks Rikku over the head so she falls unconscience. I sigh and shake my head. Brother opens the mail to find a letter it reads.

"KA-BOOM!…he he….Luca, Dock 5, Midnight..Tidus and Rikku"

"She loves me!" exclaims Brother hugging the letter.

"Didn't she say Tidus and Rikku?" said Yuna.

"That's code for she loves me!" exclaims Brother.

"Oh boy" said Habbo.

"I'll meet her" said Brother. An evil smile appears on Habbo's face.

"Good luck" said Habbo.

We skip to midnight and Brother is at Luca at Dock 5

Doff comes towards Brother she is in a black travelling cloak and her hood covers her face- the hood is midnight purple.

"Where's Tidus and Rikku!" she sounds furious.

"I love you too!" exclaims Brother as he hugs her legs. At that moment Doff knees Brother in the chest and he keels over.

"A sign of our love" says Brother as he clutches his chest. At that moment I enter.

"Hey that's my job to hurt Brother!" I exclaim.

"Oh great a sister reunion. You do still know I want to extract your eyes from their sockets and shove them in your mouth so you have to swallow them? And I'm going by the way watch your mail" says Doff as she disappears. I know I'm going off track, okay I'm going crazy.

"I'm calling Bob" I announce to no one particular. I get out my mobile and call Bob.

"Yeah Bob… Yeah well I quit!" I exclaim walking off, leaving a Yuna and Tidus who doesn't know how he got here, a singing Rikku, and weird Paine and an even more weird Brother behind.

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Now press your review button and tell me what you thought, if you think it's not funny I wont do any more funny stories like this one I'll stick to what I do best fluff and action.


	2. Brother And The Three Err Wardrobes

Hello people I know I said it was going to be a one shot, but I had inspiration to pick on Brother again. I think this is shorter that last time, I can't remember. I might do another I might not. It depends whether I get another idea. Anyway this is more like a series of one shots than being actual chapters, but this is kind of connected to last time, but totally seperate. Oh and by the way my sister didn't help this time, she really does hate the game, and didn't want to help do another chapter. Sigh so no DOFF. Anyway on with the story, and on to shout outs.

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**Sonora Faye: **Halluha I made someone laugh, I've never done a fic quite like this before.

**darkshadowgirl: **Hey we have something in common, so who wants to chop Brother's head off hmm?

**Warui-Usagi: **And I have kept it up, look its another one, YAY.

**Vogue Star: **Omg you like Brother lol. Okay I guess it's a complement with Brother fans like it aswell, yay go me.

**Tidus Reeves:** We will join to together, and make an army that kills Brother lol mwahahahahahaha

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own Goldilocks and the three bears

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After that horrible, and disturbing scene with Brother. I got so angry with the character, that I expressed my rage and anger in forum and some reviews. For example "Really Brother should get his head chopped by a chainsaw, mwahahahaha" I put. But even doing that, didn't suppress my anger, and rage.

I stared blankly at the screen, until that is an idea had popped into my head, and this is what I had wrote…

It was a wonderful morning on Island of Besaid, the birds were singing, there were less fiends on the roads, the sun was shining, and the Celcius was parked calmly on the beach. YRP strode calmly onto the beach and onto the village. Little did they know that when they would get back, that their day would be ruined by the one, and only Brother.

In the Cabin Shinra was having a cup of coffee. No one knows why he was drinking some coffee, actually no one knows why he was off his computer let alone drinking his coffee. Buddy was asleep on one of the Cabin beds, and Darling and Barkeep… Well they were gone, but you don't want to know really, what the Hypello get up to, while no one is around.

Brother strode in the Cabin. He stopped in the middle of the cabin, and puffed out his chest and struck a pose. Really this kind of stuff doesn't even turn a girl on, let alone get her attention. Shinra took a sip of his coffee as he watched.

"gdhegrhjeeh rhew ewhjergweh" said Brother in Al bhed. Well he said something near enough to that, Al bhed is a made up language, and if I put what he really had said in Al bhed, those of you who understand the language, would have been shocked and appalled. So it's best not that we go there. After all young ears, such as Shinra's need to be protected. Shinra shook his head at the gibberish that he had heard and took another sip from his coffee. Brother smiled a goofy grin to himself, he thought that he spoke perfectly clear, goodness knows why.

Brother then walked up the stairs and approached two wardrobes and some drawers, the drawers belonged to Paine, they had a note stuck on it which said:

To Brother,

You touch, and you die!

It will be very,

Very,

Very,

Very,

Very,

Very,

Painful.

…

Paine

Now as much as an idiot that Brother is, he's not so stupid that he'd ignore the note. So he wearily stepped away from the drawers, that was too dangerous, and had a look at the two wardrobes. One was smaller than the other, but not as small as the drawers. This was Yuna's and the biggest wardrobe was Rikku's.

Now that I come to think of it, it was a similar situation with someone who hated Goldilocks, they also used if you remember from your childhood, the small, medium and the big theme. Only the true ending was that she didn't get away, she got clawed to death by the bears. Unfortunately here, there are no bears or fiends for that matter to stop Brother.

Brother looked at Rikku's Wardrobe, her clothes were much too skimpy, and more importantly, she was his sister. Why it's ok to be purvey with your cousin and not your sister, I'll never know. Rikku had also left a note on her Wardrobe which read:

Du Brother,

Oui'na celg, yht tuh'd ajah drehg ypuid duilrehk Yunie's cdivv. Ev oui tu, E'mm damm vydran, yht drah Ra'mm keja oui y knayd pek csylg.

Muja,

Rikku

Shinra took a sip of his coffee, as he watched Brother, wondering what their pathetic excuse for a leader would do.

Brother ignored the letter, which by the way is put in the real language of Al Bhed. He then walked over to Yuna's wardrobe.

Now Yuna being the sweet and trusting person she is, trusts Brother not to be purvey, and therefore didn't put a note on her wardrobe. Much to the dislike of Rikku who wanted Yuna to put a note.

"_Come on Yunie, just put a note like we have" said Rikku bouncing up and down on her toes. Yuna shook her head._

"_Rikku, you think too badly of your Brother. I'm sure he won't even go into our stuff." said Yuna clasping her hands behind her back. Paine shook her head, as she then decides to while holding her pen, put one more very, as it looked like that Yuna wasn't going to do a note. _

_Rikku pouted "But Yunie" she whined. Yuna giggled._

"_Come on, we could all do with a rest" said Yuna as they then exited the cabin._

Brother opened the wardrobe, to find an assortment of clothing. He pulled out the box at the bottom of the wardrobe, to find underwear.

Now any decent guy would put the box back, actually any decent guy wouldn't go into the wardrobe in the first place, but not Brother.

Brother held up a pink bra by one of it's straps, and poked at it with his middle finger. It felt so silky and smooth, he wondered what it would feel like to have it on. After all no one was watching, and Buddy was asleep. Well that's what he thought, but anyway he put on the silky bra.

However by this time Shinra, being the smart kid that he is, had got out a sphere and began recording. He was going to use it as black mail, so that the next time that Brother annoyed him, he would show it to Paine.

Then suddenly Buddy began to wake up, he saw Brother prancing around in Yuna's bra.

"Err… Isn't that Yuna's" said Buddy sitting up.

"Ah!" Screamed Brother in fright, as he jumped backwards, Rikku's wardrobe flew open as Brother grabbed onto the handle. This in turn caused Rikku's clothes to fall out, and on top of him. And as Brother landed on his backside one of Paine's drawers slightly opened and her note fell onto the floor.

Just as this happened YRP entered the cabin fully refreshed, and ready to sphere hunt. Rikku skipped ahead and up the stairs to find Brother.

"Ah my clothes!" exclaimed Rikku in frustration. "Sicko!" she exclaimed when she saw that under the clothes Brother was wearing Yuna's bra. So in response to that she kicked Brother in the stomach. Brother grabbed his stomach, and groaned in pain. But funny enough it soon went, when he saw Paine stand over him, fists clenched.

"Eek!" he screamed as he hurriedly got up, while nearly tripping over the clothes, and running out of the Cabin with Paine close behind. Notice that he still has the bra on, and that Shinra is still recording. Shinra walked over to Yuna.

"So Yuna, tell us how does it feel, to know that Brother is wearing your bra?" asked Shinra.

"Uh…" began Yuna turning a crimson red, from embarrassment. Rikku jumped down from the upper level.

"I'll tell you how it feels!" exclaimed Rikku as she stamped her foot in frustration. "Brother has just ruined the whole day for us!" exclaimed Rikku.

I look at my work in admiration, I wonder why I didn't kill Brother, but I just put that thought to a side as I turn the screen off.

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See now you know what happens when you leave Brother all on his own lol. Will I make another one? Possibly. How come Brother didn't die? He might die in the next one. Okay review, if I did badly, and didn't make you laugh please tell me, then I'll stop. But it can work the other way aswell he he.

**Translations**

There is no translation for brother, you should have read more carefully lol.

To Brother

You're sick, and don't even think about touching Yunie's stuff. If you do, I'll tell father, and then He'll give you a great big smack.  
Love

Rikku


End file.
